RAWR!

Why is it that I always find
the WORST time to want someone?
So I totally like this guy, [lets call him R.]
Now R and I went to the same middle school
& stuff. Now in middle school [&& high school]
I had a super crush on R. Like...BIG.
Anyway. That [obviously] didnt work out.
But thanks to the miracle of technology
[cough cough facebook] I found him again &
we began aim'ing and texting.
When I came back to the valley for thanksgiving we
hung out & I was like "Whoa. I still have a crush on him."
Good thing is he was starting to like me too.
=]
Now that I'm here for Christmas break, we hang out
like everyday. Yes...everyday.
I've met his parents and all that good jazz.
Now, here's the downside.
I'm only home for [roughly] 4 months out of the year.
&& who wants a seasonal relationship?
Oh but it gets worse.
He might be moving to Florida.
RIGHT?
[sigh.]
Guess I'll just have to enjoy the sparks while I can.

MTV

I want to be on the Real World.
Yes I know what the hell?
But i LOVE this show.
Been watching it since Miami.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG THAT IS?!
shoo'.
SO.....
help me get in that house!!!

Ignominy

a people stripped voiceless.

uncommon faces dripping with familiarity pass mine.

swollen eyes unsure to connect, afraid no sound

will escape their lips.

breath is the closest thing to life they have.

i saw a young girl yesterday.

eyes glazed over with shame.

imitating intimacy was all she knew.

her once fresh face is now timed.

as she lays, awaiting this ignominy she 

yearns to pick the locks that keeps her chained,

and play.

Can I dawn the threads that harbor her tears.

Can I walk in the shoes buried in her sorrow.

I indirectly feed her direct imprisonment.

I push for commodities that use her as a commodity. 

The longer I continue, the faster she deteriorates. 

A prayer of deliverance will not suffice.

For only outstretched arms will save her.

 There are 27 million slaves being trafficked today.

13.5 million are children.

www.callandresponse.com

Something Like Life.

OMG.
I've been absent
for sooo long.
Sorry sorry.
So lemme tell you
what's been happening.
I ran for Freshman Representative
&& WON!
whoot!

Met a new guy
named Ryan.
Hella cool kid.
We hang all the time.
Rumor around school
is we're a couple.
NOT!
lol.

Other than that
Life is pretty plain.

Facebook

omg. 

i'm addicted.

Another Beach Trip.

This time it was

Ashley, Daylene,

Ryan, Jessica,

Anthony && Jennifer.

fun times.

check it.

Week One at Patten

OKAY!

So this was the close

of my first official week

at Patten University.

Lets review.

Classes:

Mondays

Communications, P.A.S.S., Applied Voice.

Tuesdays:

Music Fundamentals, English, Jazz Ensemble

Wednesdays:

NOTHING!

Thursdays:

Music Fundamentals, English, Jazz Ensemble, Theology

People:

Jennifer, Jessica, Daylene.

Grace, Ryan, Anthony.

Daylene& Christina.

Luis, Kool-Aid, Grace.

Ryan & Luke.

Jocxan

Phil & Billy

Smashley, Jessica H., Christina G., Marivel.

Shea, Tatiana, Blashley, Andrea, Nicol, Ling.

Suzy, Claudia, Natalie, Che`, Cindi.

Coreen, T, Janessa, Lauren, Sam.

Joxson, Josh, Gavin, Bruce.

Andrew, Luis, Josiah, Topher.

Chris, David, Black Josh, Jacob.

Ezekiel, John,

Billy, Phil, & Philip.

Dorm life rocks.

Patten University.

So. I'm here.

So far it's been

chill.

I got a 50% scholarship.

[FTW].

&& hecka Financial Aid.

[RFTW].

&&& I'm in the choir.

[FTMFWx2].

I'm just saying.

In one week

my life did a 180.

I've never been happier.

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye...

Lord know's I'm excited to go to school,

but I've never been so sad in my life.

Last night I went to Citywalk with

Stephanie, Ashley, && Rey. 

We ate at the HardRockCafe

then that goodbye was over.

I went to hang with GennyMarie

&& Akirah. OMG.

CRAZINESS.

Michael hung out with me earlier

that day. I dont know what it is about

that boy.... Seems like we always have

unfinished business.

Kenny ended up being sad that I was leaving.

Maybe this time it was real.

Moenay is gonna be my hardest goodbye.

We always have each others backs.

Always down to party.

Always there.

Maybe my noninvolvement with this summer's fun

was for the best. It brought them closer

as I was drawn away.

I hope conflicts and issues are resolved so

B.M.E, BGC && R.A.M can

come together.

As for the summer fling that could have been...

Maybe when he's not working,

he'll come say hi.

<3&&=]

My Miracle.

So after years of struggling,

months of hopelessness,

days of sorrow,

&& moments of pain,

I finally had a breakthrough.

I got accepted into Patten University.

I have financial aid,

&& housing.

I'm so excited.

I cut my hair.

i like it.

<3

Making a way out of no way.

WOW. 

a lot has happened in

the past weekend.

Lets recap.

Friday:

I got a voicemail message from my 

aunt saying i needed to find a new place to live.

That night after work I went to Bubba Gump's with

Diallo, Ben, John, and Shawn. 

Life is good when you know bartenders.

By this point it's about 2 in the morning.

Diallo offers crashing at his place so i dont have to

walk all the way home and i accept.

Midwalk I get a phone call from my uncle asking if 

I was coming home. I reluctantly say yes, he mumbles and

hangs up the phone. I'm walking to Diallo's and notice I have a missed

call from my aunt. I check my vmail and she says 

"if you're not home by the time we wake up 

you can pack your stuff and leave." 

Sure. No problem.

At 2:45 I get another message saying 

"Since you arent coming home you can get your stuff tomorrow.

If it's not out by Sunday, I'll throw it in the street."

Pause the story for a minute. Now is it just me

or is there a conflict right here???

You see it?? okay. Back to the recap.

Saturday Morning:

I leave Diallo's later than I wanted because

he needed me to stay until he got back, [he lost his key.]

I leave around 10:30 and jump on the bus.

I got to pick up a few things and my uncle is standing

in the hallway posted as if to intimidate me.

He starts trying to go off and I tell him 

"You've had this whole time to talk to me and all you've done

is talk AT me. I'm tired of it."

He ignores my comment and says that I'm 

"selfish, unappreciative, and exude a fuck you attitude."

I ask "how can I exude an attitude if I'm never here as you say?"

Silence. 

Cause working two jobs and going to school is such

horrid thing for me to do.

Right?

Right.

I get some work clothes and head off.

I went downtown and went to the Travelodge Inn so 

I could just shower and get dressed for work.

I was supposed to come to the San Fernando Valley after work

but that would mean I'd have to take the MetroTrain at

12am again. Yah. Not happening.

So I crashed with Kim and Lexxi that night.

GOOD TIMES.

 

Sunday: 

My best friend Ashley, her mom and little sister came to get me.

I called my aunt so I could get all of my stuff and not

worry about it. I ask her if she was at home and she says

"No I'm at the store."

I ask if she knows when she'll be home and I get

"You're going to have to wait until I feel like coming home,"

for an answer. 

O_o

Bitch...I will cut you.

My bestfriend's mom take the phone and 

gets on her head about playing games 

and my aunt hangs up.

I call my uncle trying to ask him

to get her to cooperate and the FIRST thing out

of his mouth is 

"Fuck is this shit with your friend disrespecting my wife?"

UMMMMMM.....

Ms.Pam takes the phone and lets him know

the REAL situation and he calls me back two minutes later

saying she's on her way home.

Now when I get there I see they put all my stuff

in a bunch of random boxes and bags.

I say to my friend Ashley 

"I dont know why they just didnt leave it in the

box it was in to begin with."

Out of NOWHERE my aunts mom says

"You werent here to pack it. They gave you a home.

All they asked you was to be home."

I just looked at her and said

"I was home more than I was out. And most of the

time I was at work."

I give her the key after I'm done and leave.

So in the car on the way to Ashley's

we have a vision.

What if Loris went to Patten University

with Ashley?

Needless to say we called Patten

to see if it was possible, 

downloaded the application

got on the phone with the Director of Admissions,

and all that good jazz.

Acceptance in 24 hours?

We'll see.

Conclusion:

I guess things happen for a reason.

 

Before you dine...

Read this.

I'm sooo tired of seeing people

come into resturaunts, be THE MOST

difficult set of mafuckas, then leave a 

bullshit tip. So here are some guidelines

to help you not get your steak marinated with

the "house special marinade".

1. Stop at the host stand [if there is one]. 

Now I dont mean stop if there's a seat yourself sign

but if not, please... dont try to seat yourself. It's not your job.

2. Ask for special seating BEFORE leaving the stand.

Dont have the hostess take you to a table to have you

say "Oh...well we wanted a booth."

3.  Look at the prices FIRST. If your ass

is on a budget, DONT ORDER THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING.

HELL DONT ORDER AT ALL. stay your ass at home.

make a sandwich.

4. When ordering calculate the ENTIRE cost of your meal.

This includes DRINKS, APPETIZERS, ENTREES, & DESSERTS.

5. STANDARD TIP IS NOT 10%. IT'S 15%. 

18% on parties 6 or more.

easy way to figure this out. The tip should

ALWAYS  be MORE than the TAX.

If your bill is 50$, tax is 4.40$,

leave 9 bucks. YES NUGGAH NINE!

if you cant give 15% of your bill

to the person running around for your ass

maybe you should stay the fuck home.

Now gratuity is gratuity for a reason. It's nice to do. But do

realize that, getting your drinks, ordering your food,

refilling drinks, serving the food, bussing the table,

and entertaining you at the same time isn't fucking easy.

6. Be mindful of the hours of operation.

 If a resturaunt closes at 11, dont walk in at 

10:45 asking for a table. 

That is THE MOST annoying shit.

If you were at work and someone walked in

minutes before closing would you be nice to them?

HELL MAFUCKING NAW.

So dont expect a server to be.

Just cause you're hungry doesnt mean it's okay to walk in that late.

Not only are you making the server stay til yo

punk ass leaves, you make the kitchen stay later,

the manager stay later, and the bartenders stay later.

THINK ABOUT THAT.

okay. enough of my ranting.

please though... think before you eat.

=]

Taking it for granted.

Life isnt easy. It's not supposed to be.

Life is hard to make us better people.

More conscienous people. 

Yes we go through hardships but

some have it much worse than us.

Too many people pass by a homeless person

and say "get a job you bum".

have you ever stopped to look at that man/woman?

You'd be surprised at how real they can look.

They are not shadows. They are not insects. 

They are people. 

Just like us.

This being said,

lets make an effort to help the homeless.

Give what you can.

A five dollar footlong from subway.

Some packaged leftovers.

A waterbottle.

That extra large fry the girl at the drive thru gave 

you on accident.

An apple you know you wont eat.

Directions to a shelter.

A blanket.

Shoes.

A smile.

Doing something small will

help them and make you feel better.

Trust me. I do it all the time.

It's time we start changing the world

ourselves.

I'm not going to complain about it

if I'm not willing to work at it myself.

Pause please

So i'm reading my friends blog

[ thecakesale.blogspot.com ] 

and she has a post called

  "the black man's dream"

now she's not talking about 

getting out of the hood or making

lots of money. she's talking about how

soooo many black guys diss black

girls to date outside of the race.

I'm all for being attracted to someone

no matter what color they are. It's when

guys [and girls] get the point where they

just begin to say 

"oh i only date [insert different race here]"

When did it become cool to NOT like dating

your own race? 

Are you ashamed to walk down the street

with someone who shares similar DNA 

characteristics as you? Is it degrading to you?

Black men, why are we no longer sexy to you?

Is our hair not straight enough? Our skin

not peachy and light enough? Do we have

too many curves for you? 

Are we too strong for you? 

Honestly, if you're a black man and you wont

date black women, you're not a man at all.

Hooters Girls Do Rock.

So today was an awesome day at work.

I trained this girl Vanessa, who's 24, and

hella fucking cool. Then later they tell me

that I'm being promoted to Hooter Girl and

I'll start training next week. WHAT WHATTTT!!!

Then Vanessa and I went to P.F. Chang's for

some drinks after work. Ended up having some

vino and Chang's Spicy Chicken. Bill was only

21 bucks. left a 10 dollar tip. yah. we ball like that.

After we go to Diallo's house just to chill and be cool.

They got high and we sat back and watched the

Olympic Games.

FTWWWWWWW.

Today was a good day.

=]

Sunday n Today.

So yesterday i hung out with

my ex michael and his bestie.

It was pretty chill, despite the

fact that they drove out to 

longbeach from the valley and

didnt get the weed they wanted.

but it was chill we drove to the

VALLEY and hung out.

I ended up spending the night

at ASHLEY'S and we went to

the mall. I got a new shirt

and a new bag for school.

=] oh yes.

Monday [aka today]

i went to LBCC to register

and enroll in my classes.

Econ, Psych, Music, and Soc.

Hollur.

Later I roamed around Long Beach.

Kinda fun. 

Now I'm up knowing I have work

at 10:45 in the am. I'm freaking 

crazy man. freaking crazy.

Oh well. it's worth it.

Morning.

So it's 11:17 in the am and i'm uber bored.

This morning i got into an argument

with my uncle. he woke me up yelling at 

me over some dumb shit and had nerve

to get mad because i had "an attitude".

PFT. 

last night i almost died.

someone tried to shoot me on the

metro train.

scary shit. 

but hey i'm here so i'll be okay.

In the mean time...

I have three days off in a row.

Time to aim Moenay and get

the party started!!!

adios amigos!

hasta luego.